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Pragma comes from the Ancient Greek term πρᾶγμα, meaning ‘businesslike‘, from which terms like pragmatic are derived. Pragma is the most practical type of love, not necessarily derived from true romantic love. Instead, pragma is a convenient type of love.
What is Pragma?
Pragmatic lovers have a notion of being of service, which they perceive to be rational and realistic. While they may be sincere about being useful themselves, it also translates to having expectations of a partner and of the relationship. They tend to select and reject partners based on what they perceive as desirable, compatible traits.
Pragmatic lovers want to find value in their partners and ultimately want to work with their partners to reach a common goal. The practicality and realism of practical love often contribute to the relationship’s longevity as long as common goals and values remain shared. The emphasis within pragmatic relationships is on earning, affordability, child care, and home service. The attitude of a pragmatic relationship can become disdainful and toxic if one partner sees the other as a burden. Excessive thinking causes a relationship to be seen for its utility or as a trade or exchange.
You have not chosen one another, but I have chosen you for one another.
Pragma recognizable traits
A person with a high level of Pragma attitude towards love:
- Confident of their preferable “types”.
- Begins a relationship with an already familiar person.
- Believes a loving relationship is desirable for a happy life.
- Expects reciprocation of feelings.
- Believes sexual compatibility can be worked out.
The Role of Pragma in Relationships
Pragmatic love as a form of cooperation or symbiosis should not be considered harmful. In a collectivist culture where arranged marriage is practised, pragmatic love is very common (Chaudhuri, 2004). Values are likely to be shared by a couple in developing countries, where survival and the building of wealth are often prioritized over other pursuits.
Pragma cultural examples
Examples of Pragma can be found in books, movies, and TV, including Ordinary People, Pride and Prejudice (Charlotte), Little Women (Amy March and Fred Vaughn) and House of Cards (Frank and Claire Underwood). Political marriages are also considered to be examples of pragmatic love.
Pragma Book Recommendations
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Your Thoughts about Pragma
It’s highly recommended that you jot down any ideas or reflections that come to mind regarding Pragma, including related behaviours, emotions, situations, or other associations you may make. This way, you can refer back to them on your Dashboard or Reflect pop-ups, compare them with your current behaviours, and make any necessary adjustments to keep evolving. Learn more about this feature and how it can benefit you.
References
- Sternberg, Robert. The Psychology of Love. Yale University Press. p. 51.
- Chao, Y. S. (2012). Intercultural Communications: Impacts on marriage and family relationships. WestBow Press.
- Lee, John A. Colours of Life: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving. new press. p. 156.
