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The other measured love attitudes are Eros, Storge, Pragma, Mania and Agape.
Ludus is a Greek word for love, perhaps the polar opposite of Pragma. While Pragma is long-term, cerebral, and based on responsibilities, Ludus is carefree and playful love.
Imagine a hedonistic casual relationship that is focused on fun and living in the moment, and you’ll have an excellent example of Ludus. It is often expressed through flirting, teasing, seduction, and casual sex. Although the thrill of sexual conquest is a form of Ludus, these relationships are not necessarily selfish or shallow – they may be fulfilling to both parties if mutual respect is shown and come with less responsibility and commitment than other kinds of love.
What is Ludus?
Ludus means “game” or “school” in Latin. The term is often used to describe those who see love as a desire to have fun, do indoor and outdoor activities, tease, indulge, and play harmless pranks on each other. The acquisition of love and attention itself may be part of the game.
Ludic lovers want to have as much fun as possible. When they are not seeking a stable relationship, they rarely or never become overly involved with one partner and often can have more than one partner at a time; in other words, a school of partners. They do not reveal their true thoughts and feelings to their partner(s), especially if they think they can gain some advantage over their partner(s). The expectation may also be that the partner(s) should be similarly minded. If a relationship materializes, it will be about having fun and indulging in activities of varying degrees of learnedness together. This love style carries the likelihood of infidelity. In its most extreme form, ludic love can become sexual addiction.
You might let relationships and people go when they become difficult or less fun, or you start looking for romantic fun elsewhere when your relationship either goes through hard times or gets a little more familiar. The gift in ludus love is the joy and the spontaneity, and the limit is the immaturity.
Ludus recognizable traits
A person with a high level of Ludus attitude towards love:
- Is looking for fun and playing games.
- Likes to live in the moment and flirt, tease, seduce and have casual sex
- Doesn’t expect much from the relationship
- Is open to having multiple relationships at the same time
- Is possibly not ready for any commitments
- Wouldn’t deal with difficulties or arguments that can arise in more serious or commited relationships
The Role of Ludus in Relationships
Because Ludus love is all play and no work, you’ll know you’re experiencing it if red flags or relationship conflicts haven’t reared their heads yet. This type of love doesn’t yet involve any expectations that we might typically place on a partner, and we tend to keep things light in this stage.
Some struggle to reach this stage because any heaviness sends them running (dismissive attachment style).
Ludus shares many qualities with Eros, but it is not limited to physical or sexual relationships. Ludus love can also comprise non-sexual activities such as dancing, drinking, and other sensory pleasures that one can enjoy.
Storge cultural examples
Examples of Ludus in movies include Dangerous Liaisons, Cruel Intentions, and Kids.
Ludus Book Recommendations
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Your Thoughts about Ludus
It’s highly recommended that you jot down any ideas or reflections that come to mind regarding Ludus, including related behaviours, emotions, situations, or other associations you may make. This way, you can refer back to them on your Dashboard or Reflect pop-ups, compare them with your current behaviours, and make any necessary adjustments to keep evolving. Learn more about this feature and how it can benefit you.
References
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201606/these-are-the-7-types-lovewww.psy.unsw.edu.au/dass
- https://www.calmsage.com/8-types-of-love-learn-their-impact-on-your-relationships/
