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The other measured love attitudes are Eros, Ludus, Storge, Pragma and Mania.
The word “agape” comes from the Ancient Greek term “ἀγάπη,” which refers to selfless love. Psychologist John Alan Lee defined agape as a kind of love where the lover gives without expecting anything in return, viewing it as their responsibility. This love is typically associated with older, emotionally mature individuals who prioritize logic and intention over emotion and attraction. Agape is a blend of both Storge and Eros.
What is Agape?
Agape is an all-giving, selfless love. A revised questionnaire based on an instrument in a previous study (Hendrick et al., 1984) entitled Altitude about sex and love was administered to a group of Psychology students. Results showed that Agapic lovers are willing to place their lover’s happiness and needs before their own and endure all suffering and all things for the sake of their lover. Whatever they own is their lover’s; no argument or strife will change that unconditional love.
You have not chosen one another, but I have chosen you for one another.
Agape recognizable traits
A person with a high level of Agape attitude towards love:
- Attracted to several types of people
- Meets people easily so most likely will begin with a stranger
- Feels concern and care for each partner they have
- Is neither jealous nor obsessive
- Enjoys sex and is willing to improve it
The Role of Agape in Relationships
People who practice Agapic love see their significant others as precious gifts and strive to care for them. They find more joy in giving than receiving in a relationship and remain loyal to their partners to avoid causing them any hurt. To embody Agapic love, one must possess qualities like forgiveness, patience, understanding, loyalty, and the willingness to sacrifice for their partner. While Agapic lovers believe in unconditional love, they may neglect their needs, leading to potential drawbacks. Although Agapic love comes with the benefit of generosity, it can also cause feelings of guilt or inadequacy in a partner and may even lead to being taken advantage of. In its deviant form, agape can become Martyrdom. For principle, martyrdom for principle may be acceptable; martyrdom to maintain a relationship is considered psychologically unhealthy.
Agape cultural examples
Examples of agape can be found in books and movies, including The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry, Penelope in Homer’s Odyssey, The Mission, Somewhere in Time, Titanic, Untamed Heart, Forrest Gump, and the Bible.
Agape Book Recommendations
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Your Thoughts about Agape
It’s highly recommended that you jot down any ideas or reflections that come to mind regarding Agape, including related behaviours, emotions, situations, or other associations you may make. This way, you can refer back to them on your Dashboard or Reflect pop-ups, compare them with your current behaviours, and make any necessary adjustments to keep evolving. Learn more about this feature and how it can benefit you.
References
- Lee John A. A Typology of Styles of Loving. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. 1977;3(2):173-182. doi:10.1177/014616727700300204
- Hendrick C, Hendrick SS (Feb 1986). “A theory and method of love”. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 50 (2): 392–402. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.50.2.392.
- “Bible Gateway passage: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – New International Version”. Bible Gateway. Retrieved 2022-04-20.
- Sternberg, Robert. The Psychology of Love. Yale University Press. p. 48.
