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In the maze of cognitive distortions that can influence our perceptions, “discounting the positives” stands out as a particularly insidious trap. Like a shadow over our achievements, this cognitive bias prevents individuals from acknowledging their accomplishments, instead treating them as trivial or irrelevant. Recognizing and understanding this distortion is the first step to reclaiming a more balanced and positive self-view.
Understanding Discounting the Positives
Discounting the positives involves refusing to acknowledge or trivializing positive experiences, achievements, or qualities. For instance, if someone compliments you on a well-executed project, and you think, “They’re just being nice, anyone could have done it,” you’re discounting the positive feedback.
Renowned psychiatrist Dr. David Burns describes this distortion in his work: “You reject positive experiences by insisting they ‘don’t count.’ If you do a good job, you may tell yourself that it wasn’t good enough or that anyone could have done as well“1.
Consequences of Discounting the Positives
Pervasive Low Self-Esteem
Continually negating positive experiences can result in an eroded sense of self-worth and a feeling of never being ‘good enough.’
Depression and Hopelessness
When good things are consistently seen as irrelevant or insufficient, it can foster feelings of hopelessness and contribute to depression2.
Barriers to Growth
Not acknowledging achievements can stifle personal and professional growth, as it reduces motivation and can create an aversion to taking on new challenges.
"You reject positive experiences by insisting they 'don't count.' If you do a good job, you may tell yourself that it wasn't good enough or that anyone could have done as well"
"When we change the way we think, we can change the way we feel"
Why Do We Discount the Positives?
The root causes can be varied, but some prominent factors include:
Past Negative Experiences
Individuals with a history of failure or criticism might anticipate negativity and, as a defense mechanism, discount positives before someone else can3.
Cultural and Familial Factors
Growing up in environments where achievements are expected rather than praised can lead to internalized beliefs that one’s successes are unremarkable4.
Fear of Complacency
Some believe that acknowledging success might lead to complacency, so they discount their achievements to stay driven.
Strategies to Counteract Discounting the Positives
Self-Reflection and Journaling
Keep a journal of achievements and positive feedback. Regularly reviewing this can offer a tangible counter-narrative to the tendency to discount positives5.
Mindfulness and Meditation
These practices can help individuals become more aware of their automatic thoughts, including tendencies to negate positive experiences6.
Cognitive Restructuring
A core component of CBT, involves challenging and replacing irrational beliefs. For discounting the positives, every time you catch yourself negating a success, challenge that belief with evidence and replace it with a more balanced thought1.
Seek External Feedback
Regular feedback sessions with trusted colleagues, friends, or therapists can provide an objective perspective on achievements and successes.
Affirmations
Though they might seem cliché, positive affirmations can recalibrate the mind’s tendency to focus on the negative. Repeating affirmations like “I acknowledge and celebrate my achievements” can slowly shift ingrained beliefs.
Conclusion
In closing, discounting the positives is a powerful cognitive distortion that can significantly warp one’s perception of self-worth and achievements. But as Dr. Aaron T. Beck, the father of cognitive therapy, once pointed out, “When we change the way we think, we can change the way we feel“7, and by recognizing and challenging this distortion, one can pave the way to a more accurate and positive self-view.
Discounting the positives Book Recommendations
Here is a collection of the best books on the market related to discounting the positives:Â
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References
Burns, D. D. (1980). Feeling good: The new mood therapy. New York: New American Library.Â
Beck, A. T., & Alford, B. A. (2009). Depression: Causes and treatment. University of Pennsylvania Press.
Young, J. E., Klosko, J. S., & Weishaar, M. E. (2003). Schema therapy: A practitioner’s guide. Guilford Press.
Kitayama, S., & Markus, H. R. (Eds.). (1994). Emotion and culture: Empirical studies of mutual influence. American Psychological Association.
Pennebaker, J. W. (1997). Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process. Psychological Science, 8(3), 162-166.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever you go, there you are: Mindfulness meditation in everyday life. Hyperion.
Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. New York: International Universities Press.
